


All I Have is You

by TrashmouthAndHypochondriac



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 1964, Additional Warnings Apply, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anymore warnings and it will cause spoilers, Bad Parents Maggie Tozier & Wentworth Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak-centric, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gay Richie Tozier, Homophobia, Hurt Richie Tozier, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Needs a Hug, Richie Tozier-centric, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-16 01:30:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21499609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashmouthAndHypochondriac/pseuds/TrashmouthAndHypochondriac
Summary: Richie Tozier was a simple kid.He enjoyed Street Fighter, the occasional cigarette with Beverly, the sound of Eddie's laugh, making his friends happy, Eddie's eyes.He was a simple kid. He liked it that way. It was less complicated, less stressful. He preferred keeping it all simple. It was better than letting all his demons out.On the outside Richie Tozier was a simple kid. But on the inside he was a bomb that was seconds away from exploding. All of the secrets he thought he had to hide, all of the fear he felt consumed by, day in and day out, he packed it all away in a nice little box that was threatening to overflow.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 184





	1. Chapter One

Richie woke up to the sound of glass breaking, knowing that it was already shaping up to be a shit day. Maggie was drunk, again. Which meant that Wentworth was going to be much worse by noon. Letting out an exhausted sigh, he pushed himself out of bed, fumbling with his glasses as he haphazardly put them on his face. 

He had memorized the spots on his floor that creaked, learning to avoid them as the years went on; knowing damn well if he made a sound, his parents would have an excuse to punish him. Silently, he got ready for a day with the Losers, slipping on the cleanest clothes he could find before creeping out of the window. Once he reached his bike and started peddling away from the prison he once called home, he let himself smile. A smile of relief, but a smile nevertheless. He hated the affect that his parents had on him, you'd think after years of neglect he'd be used to it. You'd be wrong. 

Every venomous word thrown his way still stung just as much as the first time, if not more so. Hell, at seventeen years old, Richie still felt like the scared five year old hiding in the closet from his parents lethal words. It was sad really, but what was he to do. He couldn't put this burden on the other Losers, not when they all had their own shit to deal with. Though he knew that they'd all be hurt, and a little angry, that he hadn't said anything sooner if they ever did find out. Luckily for him, he wasn't planning on letting that dirty little secret get out. 

He rode his old beat up bike through the streets of Derry, until he eventually pulled up to a familiar house. A house where, regardless of how much one of the inhabitants hated him, he had always felt safe. There was just something about the almost sterile aroma in Eddie's room that had brought him so much comfort. When nights at home were rough, he would always sneak through the smaller boys window, careful not to wake up Eddie's mom. She'd have a fit if she knew boys were sneaking into her son's room late at night, she'd have a heart attack if she ever found out that the boy was none other than Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier. He never knew why Sonia had hated him so much. Maybe it was the foul words that he dared say in front of her precious angel, or maybe it was the fact that Eddie acted more like a kid than a scared patient with him. Hell, maybe it was the fact that Sonia spotted him kissing some boy last summer, and now saw him as just another 'walking One Way Ticket to Hell.' 

It could have been a number of reasons, but he never bothered to ask, nor did he care much. Just as long as he had Eds by his side, who cared what the world thought of him. The only opinion that mattered to him was Eddies. 

Now, of course he loved the other Losers, but Eddie Kaspbrak was something special. He swore he could see the galaxy in those big brown eyes. Richie would do anything for that boy, absolutely anything. He'd take the whole Bowers Gang on by himself if it meant protecting Eddie. 

After pulling himself out of his thoughts, Richie carefully set his bike down on the sidewalk, before creeping towards the side of the house. He climbed up to Eddies window, tapping on the glass softly, being very careful not to alert Sonia of his presence. The window opened to a very annoyed Eddie, shortly after. "Where the fuck have you been 'Chee, you were supposed to be here an hour ago!" The smaller boy snapped, shooting a glare at Richie. 

"You mean you didn't hear me and your mom going at it just a few minutes ago, Eds? And to think, I had her scre-" 

"Beep-Fucking-Beep Richie. Let's go, the others are probably wondering where we are. And don't call me Eds." He grumbled, waiting for Richie to climb back down before climbing out of the window himself. Once his feet touched the ground, it was like a switch flipped in Eddie "This is the last summer we have before senior year. Then it's off to college..." He sighed "Do you think we'll all still be friends, Rich?" His voice was soft, his eyes searching Richie's face for any sort of answer. 

"Why of course we will, Ol' Chap! I could never stop being friends with ya, Doctor K!" Richie exclaimed, a grin on his face. He knew that he was only using his voices again to help him express genuine emotions, but he couldn't let Eds find that out. No, if Eddie found out then he'd start worrying about Richie again. He couldn't put that on Eddie. "C'mon Eddie Spaghetti, like you said, the others are probably wondering where we are. Don't want them thinking I spent too much time with your mom." 

A smile formed on Eddies lips as he rolled his eyes. Both boys soon hopping onto their bikes, making their way to the quarry. Richie couldn't imagine any better way to spend his summer than this. The boy he loved and his five best friends by his side. They always seemed to make life more bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this is my shitty first chapter! I have a lot more planned! I don't have an update schedule though. But I promise to update as much as possible. Now, there will be additional warnings added later, since I don't want to spoil the fic. But uh yeah! Hope you enjoyed, leave a comment if you want more!
> 
> Also, this is set in 1964. I’m going with King Canon on the timeline.


	2. Chapter Two

The rest of the Losers were already at the quarry by the time Richie and Eddie rolled up. Laughter was floating through the air, the sound warming Richie’s heart. He never said it enough, but he loved them. They were truly his family, the one constant in his life. It was hard to imagine a world without them, a world without the light they managed to bring into his life.

“Wow, I can’t believe you started the party without me! And to think, I thought I was special!” Richie gasped, a smile ghosting his lips as he threw a hand over his chest dramatically. He noticed the way Stanley rolled his eyes, letting out a small chuckle. He saw how both Ben and Bill shook their heads, making room for the two boys. He couldn’t help but see how Beverly brightened up a bit when Richie arrived, out of all of the Losers, Bev was the only one that knew about his home life, the others only had their suspicions.

Mike moved to welcome the boys, a goofy grin on his face “Now, Rich, you know that it’s not really a party until you get here. So quit the theatrics and come sit down.” He laughed, motioning for them to come sit.

Eddie was the first to move, happily taking his place in the circle “Sorry guys, we would’ve been here sooner, if _somebody_ wasn’t late this morning.” He explained, sending a playful glare Richie's way. God, even then Richie still thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

“You know how Mrs. K gets, one taste and she just can’t get enough. Maybe you should give me a taste yourself, Eds.” He suggested, sitting down next to the boy, throwing his arm over his shoulders “Whaddya say Eds?” He asked, wiggling his eye brows, earning a groan from the aforementioned boy.

“Don’t make me ‘beep beep’ you twice in an hour, ‘Chee.” Eddie warned, though his voice was filled with amusement. “So, what’s the plan for today? Or are we all just going to sit on bacteria covered rocks?” This earned a laugh from the rest of the group, causing Eddies eyes to go wide. “I’m serious! Do you know what kind of diseases you can get!? Diseases are everywhere!” He exclaimed, instinctively reaching for the sanitizer that had made its home in the fanny pack he refused to stop wearing.

Upon hearing Eddies words, Richie pulled his arm away, a pit of self-loathing forming in his stomach, just the way Eddie spoke of diseases made him want to wash the gay away. He wanted to be clean for Eds, not dirty and disease ridden. “Uh, Eddies right, as much as I love a good circle jerk, we should save that for the last day of summer, not the first.” The shift in Richie's mood didn’t go unnoticed by Eddie. He couldn’t quite place what had made the the raven haired joker so upset, but something was wrong.

“W-W-Well, Ben had said s-something about a new m-movie playing. Why d-d-don’t we go see that?” Bill suggested, looking to the rest of the group, before focusing his attention on Ben, giving him a nod. “Yeah, _A Shot in The Dark_ , the new Pink Panther movie!” Ben said excitedly. Though there were a million things Richie would rather be doing, he couldn’t help but agree to the movie after he saw the light in Ben’s eyes.

“Alright short stack, that sounds like a great idea.” Richie agreed, pushing himself off the rock he had inhabited. After Ben had finally confessed his love for their resident Red Head, Richie had a new found respect for the boy. He had done what Richie only dreamed of doing.

But it was only a hopeless dream. As much as it hurt, he knew he could never tell Eddie how he felt. He knew his feelings were dirty, were wrong. He knew if he ever told Eddie how he really felt, it would ruin their friendship. Eddie would never want to associate with a _gay_ man. That thought hurt him more than anything. He couldn’t risk losing his best friend over some silly crush, not when Eddie was the one person who could truly make Richie happy.

Pushing the intrusive thoughts aside, Richie made his way over to his bike “So, are we doing this or what?” He asked, faking his usual enthusiasm, as to not raise the suspicions of the others.

The rest of the group made their way to their bikes, following Richie’s lead to the theater. They remained silent, sensing that’s what the curly haired boy needed most.

As much as Richie wanted to pretend, the Losers had guessed that he had it rough. He had come to school with bruises on multiple occasions, he never invited them over to his place, hell whenever he ate, he ate like he hadn’t seen food in years.

This made the Losers more protective of the boy, more cautious with certain things. They always made him feel loved and wanted. Because that’s what family does.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Violence in this chapter.

After the movie, the day had flown by. Richie didn't want it to end, but one by one each Loser left to get home. Soon it was just him and Eddie. The smaller boy, who was sat next to him on a park bench, had his head resting on Richie's shoulder, watching the sun set, a smile gracing his lips. 

Richie felt his heart skip a beat, as it did whenever Eddie was close to him like this. He was one hundred percent, absolutely in love with the short hypochondriac. Everything about the boy just made his stomach fill with butterflies. He hated himself for feeling this way about his best friend, about his straight best friend. Hell, he hated himself for feeling this way about any boy really. Despite knowing that there was nothing wrong with him for feeling the way he does, Richie still felt ashamed. He had been raised to think being gay was a disease, that being gay was wrong, that he needed to settle down with a nice girl and churn out a bunch of crotch goblins. 

Now, Richie did like kids, and sure he wanted some of his own someday, but the thought of being with a woman made him nauseous. It wasn't who he was. It made him sick just thinking about hiding his feeling, but even sicker thinking about coming clean.

He had tried to be with a woman the previous summer, it ended poorly. But at least it got Bowers off his back. Henry had been calling him a queer for a while, only stopping after he saw Richie locking lips with the girl at a party. Now Henry's abuse was aimed towards Eddie.

Richie didn't know what was worse, being called a queer himself, or Eddie going through that shit. No, scratch that. Eddie being tormented by Bowers was way worse than anything that asshole threw his way. He planned to put a stop to Eddie's torment soon. He just had to wait for the right time, preferably when the other Losers weren't around. Of course, he knew this plan was stupid, and he knew his friends, especially Eddie, would be upset with him for this, but it had to be done. 

He couldn't let his Eds get continuously abused by the towns psychopath. He let out a small sigh, earning the smaller males attention. "Everything okay, 'Chee?" He asked, looking up at Richie with big brown eyes that he felt he could just melt in. "Yeah, I'm good. Although we should probably get you home, don't want Mrs. K to have a heart attack." He joked, reluctantly moving to get up. 

"Shit, you're right. She's probably worried sick! Last time I was home this late, I came home to the police." He let out a laugh, adjusting his fanny pack, pushing himself up off the bench. He pulled his bike up, swinging his leg over, glancing back at Richie. "You coming?" 

Richie gave a nod, hating that this moment had to end. Soon enough, both boys were making their way towards Eddie's house, a peaceful silence settling between the two. Richie, the Trashmouth, actually enjoyed the silence between him and Eddie, it felt more intimate than words could ever be. It was moments like those that he cherished, but moments like those always ended so soon. 

He found himself saying goodbye to Eddie, thus concluding a perfect day, which in turn started a hellish night. He knew the second he got home, he would have to face his parents, he also knew that they were most likely drunk and angry that he left. Despite dreading the inevitable fight, Richie made his way home. 

He hated the way his heart dropped when he turned onto his street. It wasn't the way he should feel when going home. It wasn't the way he should feel when he thought of seeing his parents. Richie knew this. He also knew that he should love his parents, but instead he hated them. He hated them more than he hated Bowers. More than he hated himself. 

With reluctance in his movements, Richie set his bike down by the side of the house, out of sight from anyone passing by, out of sight from his parents. Once his bike was safe, the raven haired boy climbed back into his room, quietly closing the window behind him. He took in the surroundings, taking note of the mess his father had made when he undoubtedly stumbled in there to take his misplaced anger out on Richie. 

He mumbled a small curse under his breath, taking careful steps towards the door. He refused to let his sorry excuse for parents to know he was home just yet, but damn was he hungry. He wanted to make sure that they were passed out, so he could raid the kitchen without worry of getting the shit kicked out of him. 

He approached his bedroom door slowly. Though, even with slow and calculated steps, Richie still heard the dreaded sound. 

The deafening creak of a floorboard in his previously silent house. 

"Shit..." He mumbled, the sound of unsteady footsteps climbing up the stairs soon followed his curse. 

"Where the fuck 'ave you been, boy?" He heard his father slur. His heart was racing, fear consuming him. He hated how terrified he was of the drunkard. 

Wentworth soon stood face to face with his son, rage in his eyes. "I asked ya a question!" He growled, slapping Richie hard across the face before the boy had a chance to answer him. When the slap hit, something inside Wentworth snapped. He grabbed a fistful of his sons hair, dragging him towards the stairs, soon throwing the smaller male down, watching him tumble as his head hit a few of the steps. 

Letting out a chuckle, Wentworth stomped down towards Richie. He kicked the boy hard in the stomach when he tried to move, laughing as Richie coughed and gasped for air. 

All Richie could feel was the pain, exploding like fireworks with each blow his father threw his way. He knew better than to fight back, he knew his father would tire himself out soon enough, he just had to stay conscious until then.


	4. Chapter Four

Pain clouded Richie’s senses, it was all he could focus on. Every movement he made sent a shockwave rippling through his nerves. Despite the pain, he knew he had to get to the safety of his room. He could tend to his wounds there, that thought alone kept him moving. With each agonizing step, Richie was closer to safety. One had was gripping the railing of the stairs, while the other was clutching his stomach. He knew it was going to take some time to heal, which was going to make hiding it that much harder. 

He let out a sigh of relief once he took the first shaky step into his room, stumbling further in before soon collapsing by his door. He took in a few shallow breaths, ignoring the pain in his chest. With the last bit of strength he had, he pushed his door shut, reaching up to lock it. Once he knew it was safe, Richie let the tears flow, sobs escaping his lips, pain radiating through him with each gasp. Richie didn’t even have the strength to make it to his bed, so he laid there, slumped against his wall, a mess of blood, bruises and tears. 

As his adrenaline wore off, he let himself succumb to the sweet release of sleep.  
_______________________________

He awoke to the sound of someone entering his window, he had no idea what time it was, though he could see it was still dark. “‘Chee? Are you alright? You were supposed to meet up with us today...” he heard Eddie’s voice call out. How long had he been out? 

“Y-You shouldn’t be here Eds....” He called back, his voice hoarse. “You should leave...” Richie knew damn well the words were pointless, especially when the smaller boy reached his side.

“Holy shit! What the fuck happened, Richie?!” Eddie gasped, staring down at the boy he cared so deeply for. “Can you stand? We need to get you into bed, then you need to explain what the fuck happened while I patch you up.” 

Richie couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle, Eddie was so cute when he was worried. “I think I can stand. But Eds, you should go. I’ll be okay, I promise.” He tried, not wanting Eddie to suffer the same fate he had. He knew his words meant nothing, he knew Eddie would never leave him like this. 

Eddie wrapped his arm around Richie’s waist, helping the taller boy stand. He led Richie carefully to the bed, propping him against the side so he could get a better grip on the boy. After much effort, the wounded Trashmouth was laying in his bed, a pained expression on his face. “There’s not much I can do about the bruising, but I can patch up the gash on your head.” Eddie said promptly, pulling some gauze and a small container of rubbing alcohol out of the fanny pack Richie always teased him for. Though now, in this moment, Richie had never been more thankful for that god awful fashion statement. 

“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow at his friends silence. He had never seen Richie this quiet, it honestly scared him a little. 

“I took a tumble down the stairs, s’all.” Richie mumbled out, it wasn’t entirely a lie, so he hoped Eddie would buy it. Thankfully for him, the smaller boy just scolded him about watching where he was going while he was being patched up. 

He wished more than anything he could tell Eddie the truth, but it was too much for that small boy to handle. Hell it was too much for Richie to handle and he was the one going through it. He let himself drift off once more while Eddie continued to clean him up. He couldn’t face him after lying to him like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and short chapter. I got a concussion shortly after the third chapter and have been dealing with personal issues.


	5. Chapter Five

By the time Richie woke up the following morning, Eddie had managed to get Bill and Stan into his room, undetected. They were all gathered around on his floor, whispering amongst themselves as they waited for their raven haired friend to awaken. Eddie hadn’t bought Richie’s story, he knew something more was going on, but he also knew Richie wouldn’t budge, he knew he needed help in this endeavor. 

Richie laid there, listening to their whispers for a few minutes, trying not to let the dull throbbing in his head get to him. It soon got the better of him, causing him to let out a small groan. The small group of Losers turned to face him, concern written on their features. “Hey ‘Chee, how are you feeling..?” Eddie asked, his voice sickly sweet. God Richie hated that tone. He hated the pity he could hear in his friends voice, he hated that tone so much. “I’m fine Eds... can you guys leave please? My head is pounding and quite frankly none of you are helping.” He said, moving to face away from them. His heart broke when he heard Eddies sigh, he knew that the boy was only trying to help, but this just wasn’t the time. Things were far too complicated for anyone to even begin trying to fix it. 

Richie couldn’t even figure out how to fix it and it was his own fucking life, his own fucking problem. He turned back to face his friends, anger bubbling up. “I didn’t fucking stutter, I’m not Bill! Get the fuck out of my room!” He couldn’t help but snap, although everything in him was telling him not to. He couldn’t help himself, he couldn’t ignore that small voice in his head that told him to shut them out and shut down. It was a coping mechanism, unhealthy yes, but a coping mechanism nonetheless. He watched his friends expressions turn from shock to anger. He watched as they each left his room, he saw the look of disappointment in Eddie’s eyes. And once they were gone, he let himself break down. This wasn’t the first time and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last time. 

Richie curled into himself, despite the pain, and he sobbed. He let out all of the pent up emotions, all of the hurt he had been feeling for months that he just hid away. He hated himself for it. He hated himself more than he hated his parents, more than he hated Bowers, more than anything else. He deserved the abuse, he deserved the bullying, he deserved to fucking rot. He was gay, of course he deserved this. He was dirty, he was filth, scum, diseased. He was everything that he had heard the good, god-loving, people of Derry whispering, when talking about homosexuals. 

He laid there for hours, curled up in his bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was a mess, a broken, bruised mess. It wasn’t long before he heard his window opening. He couldn’t let anyone see him like this, not now. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me?” Richie said with a small growl, wiping away his tears. 

Eddie let out a very audible and very annoyed sigh. “Okay, Tozier, shut the fuck up. Tell me the truth, don’t give me the bullshit of you falling down the stairs. Stairs don’t leave fingerprint shaped bruises.” Richie knew then he had to confess the truth, he knew Eddie wasn’t going to listen to any of his excuses or lies. This is what he had been dreading. He didn’t want to get anyone roped into this mess, let alone Eddie. Sweet, beautiful Eddie. He couldn’t be a part of this, he couldn’t be subjected to this disaster. 

With a trembling sigh, Richie finally decided to tell the smaller male the truth. “My dad did it. He was drunk, pushed me down the stairs, slapped me, beat me until I was almost unconscious. I managed to make it up to my room before passing out.” He explained, refusing to look at Eddie while he spoke. “Guess I was out for quite some time if you showed up.” He finished, sneaking a glance at the smaller male. 

Eddie looked furious. If looks could kill then Wentworth would be dead ten times over. How could someone beat a defenseless child like that? How could a father beat his own son like that? The longer he thought about it, the more the rage bubbled up. How long had Richie been suffering? Why hadn’t he said anything sooner? The questions raced through Eddies thoughts, making him hate Richie’s parents more and more. “‘Chee. What that pathetic excuse of a man did to you isn’t okay... you need to go to the hospital, tell them what happened! The police can-“

“Can what, Eds? Pack me up and send me to a foster home states away? It’ll be the same shit just a different family Eddie. I’m better off here. I’ve put up with it for this long, what’s a few more years?” Richie rasped out, his voice devoid of any emotion. He felt absolutely numb. He had never wanted to see the look of anger and pity in Eddie’s eyes, he had never wanted him to find out about his shit show of a home life. He knew it would change things, of course it would. Who wouldn’t look at poor little Richie differently? His mommy and daddy were abusive alcoholics, he was fragile, bound to shatter like a porcelain doll. 

Fuck. Richie hated the pitying looks he got from teachers when he came in with a fresh bruise. But the look in Eddie’s eyes was so much worse. “Look, Spaghetti, I appreciate the help and the talk, I really do. But I need to get ready for my date with your mom, so if you could kindly fuck right off out of my house, that’d be great.” Richie gave a halfassed smile, trying desperately to joke his way out of his current situation. He needed to be alone, the air was suffocating him, and he’d be damned if Eddie saw him break down. Sweet Eddie had already seen too much, he already knew too much. He couldn’t see this. 

“Stop fucking around Richie. I’m getting you out of here.” Eddie grumbled, rolling his eyes at his friends lame attempt of a joke. “Pack a bag, you’re staying with me tonight, we can tell everyone else what’s going on tomorrow. I’m sure Bill can come up with a plan.” He nodded, not giving the raven haired boy much of a choice in the matter. 

“I love it when you get all forceful and order me around Eddie-Bear.” Richie laughed, pushing himself out of the comfort of his bed. He knew these next few days were going to be rough. He just didn’t realize the extent of it all, yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo! So I’m thinking of wrapping this up here soon, Idk, maybe like four or five more chapters. Leave a comment letting me know what you guys think so far, where you think the story is going. Just your theories about Richie! I look forward to reading them!


	6. Chapter Six

Things had been going great for Richie, ever since he’d unofficially moved into Eddie’s room. Sonia had no idea that Richie had taken up residence in her home, nor did she need to know. She’d be furious to find out that her son had brought in a stowaway, let alone the Tozier boy. That boy was nothing but trouble in her eyes. 

For the past week and a half, Richie hadn’t had to worry about getting the shit kicked out of him. Though it wasn’t all fine, he was sharing a bed with the boy he was in love with, he had to fight a lot harder to keep his feelings under wrap. But damn was that hard when he was so close to him all the time. 

Eddie had refused to leave Richie’s side ever since he had found his best friend bloody and broken. He couldn’t get that image out of his mind. It was killing him inside knowing that Richie had kept this a secret for so long. His sweet, loving Richie had been carrying that weight with him, and yet he still did everything he could to make the others happy. Eddie could never understand how that was possible, but he refused to let Richie ever carry a burden like that alone again. 

Eddie Kaspbrak looked over at the raven haired boy, sleeping next to him, smiling. He vowed in that moment to love Richie unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and despite how much he hated it, in secret. He leaned over, planting a soft kiss on the taller boys forehead, letting his lips linger for a second longer than he should’ve. 

To his surprise, he saw Richie staring up at him when he finally pulled away. His heart skipped a beat, did he just ruin their friendship? Did he just push his best friend away because of his unnatural feelings? A thousand thoughts raced through the hypochondriacs head. 

And almost as though Richie could sense Eddies panic, the taller male raised his hand, placing it gently on his best friends cheek. “Eds....” He mumbled, his voice still husky from sleep. “Can I kiss you?” He asked lightly, barely above a whisper. Richie didn’t wait for a verbal confirmation, the quick nods Eddie gave him were answer enough. 

This moment was something Richie had been waiting his whole life for, this moment was something that he would cherish forever. He would never forget the way Eddie’s lips felt against his, or the way his heart started pounding the second they made contact. He could never forget how Eddie pulled him closer, clinging to the front of his shirt for dear life. And try as he might, he would never be able to forget the way Eddie pulled him in for another kiss right after. Those feelings would forever be burned into Richie’s memory, and he didn’t want it any other way. 

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier was absolutely, hopelessly in love with his best friend. And His Eddie Spaghetti felt the same. He was on top of the world, he felt like nothing could bring him down now, not even his piece of shit father. “Eddie, I’ve been wanting to do that since we met...” The confession broke the peaceful silence that had fallen upon the two. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, your mom was just a placeholder.” He let out a chuckle, a sleepy smile on his face. 

“Way to go ‘Chee, you ruined the moment.” Eddie rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the boys laughter. “You owe me a genuine romantic moment you asshole.” The blush on the smaller males cheeks grew redder and redder as he thought about kissing Richie again, getting to be with Richie fully, having a life with him. 

Eddie couldn’t picture a better life, even if people couldn’t understand their love, he didn’t care. He was the happiest he had been in years, just knowing he had the privilege of being kissed by Richie Tozier, the privilege of being loved by him. It was exhilarating, he felt home in Richie’s eyes, safe in his arms. He was falling more in love with the Trashmouth every second. 

The two boys spent the day in each others arms, cherishing the time the got to spend alone and free. Alone, they had no restrictions on how they were allowed to express their love. They didn’t have to hide when they were alone, they were free. 

“I love you Eds.” 

“I love you too, but don’t call me Eds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo sorry for this late update! I completely forgot to write the sixth chapter, oops! So I’m gonna only do two to four more chapters, wrap things up and hopefully things end well for our boys! Leave a kudos and a comment!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobic slurs.

June, 1965.

It was finally the end of Richie’s senior year. He had officially graduated high school. This past year had been a challenge, he had faced a lot, but he was grateful for his friends. They had helped him through it all. Hell, Stans parents even got legal guardianship over him after the abuse his parents put him through came to light. Not to mention, his relationship with Eddie had been going great.

They had came out to the Losers shortly after their first kiss. The Clubhouse had become a safe haven for the two Lovers, a place where they could be themselves without fear of persecution. Their year anniversary was approaching fast, and Richie had a plan for something special. He was planning on a proposal, unofficially of course, but the sentiment was still there. And maybe, one day, he could actually marry his Eddie Spaghetti. Maybe one day they could live freely together, no longer in secret. But for now, he would settle for an unofficial marriage with the man he loved. 

After the graduation ceremony, Richie was going to ask Eddie to go away with him for a weekend, just the two of them. He had rented a cabin, secluded from prying and judging eyes. The second night there, he would propose. He had bought the ring back in the fall, already knowing he wanted to spend his life with the small boy. He kept the ring with him every single day, finding comfort in knowing that things were finally working out for him. 

The only other person who knew of the planned proposal was Stan, of course he only found out due to Richie begging for help while ring shopping. Stanley had helped him pick out the perfect ring, and swore he wouldn’t say anything to Eddie about it. Richie couldn’t wait, he had every little detail planned out. The weekend was going to be perfect. But he still needed to iron out a couple of minor things before he could ask Eddie to go away with him for the weekend. The first being asking the rest of his friends for help. 

He made his way to the clubhouse with a smile on his face, nothing could bring his mood down. Well, nothing except Henry “raging psychopath” Bowers. 

“Hey, flamer! Where do you think you’re off to?” Bowers and his gang of future convicts had come out of nowhere, surrounding Richie. Each one of them wearing a sadistic smirk, the look in their eyes saying Richie wasn’t going to get away unscathed. This caused his heart to start pounding, Bowers had a tendency to go overboard. That aspect scared him, if he couldn’t get himself away from Henry and his thugs, he would end up in the hospital. 

“What do you want, Bowers? Aren’t you getting a little too old for this shit?” The curly haired male started looking for an escape route, hoping Bowers would just move along. 

“Aw, what? Not happy to see us? And here we thought a group of guys surrounding you was your dream, Faggot.” Patrick spat, laughing when he saw Richie tense up. The shock of Hockstetters words gave Henry an opening. The blonde hit Richie hard in the stomach, kicking him to the ground after he had doubled over. 

Once Richie was on the ground, the rest of the group pounced, kicking and punching him as hard as they could, laughing all the while. “We don’t take kindly to little fairies in our town. Take this as a fucking warning and leave, or we won’t be so nice next time.” Henry snarled, spitting on the injured boy. 

Just as soon as they had showed up, Bowers and his friends were gone, leaving Richie curled up and groaning on the ground. The beating wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, though he would definitely be sore in the morning. He didn’t mind though, he refused to let anything bring him down, not now, not when he was so close to starting a life with Eddie. 

With a quiet whimper, Richie pulled himself up, continuing his walk to the clubhouse. Walk wasn’t the right term, it was more like a doubled over hobble. He made it to the clubhouse in good time, sighing in relief once he plopped down on the hammock. The rest of his friends hadn’t made it there yet, giving him an opportunity to think of a good cover story as to why he looked like a tenderized piece of meat.

Once the rest of the Losers arrived, the first to notice his injuries was Eddie, of course. The poor boy nearly had a heart attack when he saw the forming bruises. “What the actual fuck happened, ‘Chee?” He asked, already examining the wounds. “It was Bowers, wasn’t it? I’ll kick his ass for this! No one lays a hand on my boyfriend and gets away with it!” The smaller male ranted as he cleaned Richie up, causing the group to laugh. 

“Eds, I think you should wait until you hit a growth spurt before trying to take Henry Bowers on.” Richie chuckled, glancing down at the beautiful boy in front of him. “Now, since you look like you might burst a damn aneurysm, I’m gonna need you to take some deep breaths and go away with me this weekend.”

Eddie paused, looking up at his boyfriend with wide eyes. “Do you honestly think now is the time to ask that? I mean of course I’ll go, but jesus Richie-“ His rambling was cut off by a light kiss and a chuckle. 

Everything was coming together, and Richie wasn’t going to let Henry Bowers or anything else ruin this. He was finally happy, and nothing was ever going to change that for him. It had taken him years to find this happiness, and now that he had it, he wasn’t going to let it go. 

He let Eddie finish patching him up, once he was done, Richie pulled him up onto the hammock next to him, planting a kiss on his boyfriends head.

Soon enough, the group had gathered around, discussing their plans for college and life after Derry. Richie knew his plans, he had known since the day he had laid eyes on Eddie Kaspbrak. He would spend his life with that boy, and no matter where life took them, he would be happy as long as Eddie was by his side. 

Things were perfect. The Losers had found their happiness, and their escape from Derry. They spent the rest of the night talking, laughing and sharing stories from the past. 

Things were finally perfect. And Richie couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one or two more chapters left! I’m super excited for this, and I’ve been really happy reading your comments. Be sure to comment your theories or thoughts!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, please don’t hate me. Lmao

Graduation day had flown by, Richie couldn’t believe he had actually made it this far. He was proud of himself and his friends. They had overcome a lot, and they were stronger for it. The future was laid out in front of them, and they were ready to take this next step. He was ready to take this next step. 

After the ceremony, Richie had made a quick stop at the home, he now shared with Stan and his family, to grab his bags. Once the beat up old pickup truck he worked hard to buy, was loaded and ready, he headed to Eddies house, a smile on his face. This was the next step to forever. 

In true Trashmouth fashion, he laid his hand on the horn, letting the obnoxious sound blare through the air until he saw the annoyed face of his boyfriend. He let up on the horn, as he opened the door. “You’re driving, Spagheds, I’m exhausted and I doubt you want the driver to fall asleep at the wheel.” He teased, grabbing the bags out of Eddies hands. 

Much to Eddies dismay, Richie tossed his luggage carelessly in the bed of the truck. He chewed on his lip, climbing into the drivers seat with a small sigh. “You know, ‘Chee, you can just admit you’re too lazy to drive. I won’t hold it against you.” 

“You can hold something against me.” Richie quipped back as he climbed into the passengers seat, planting a quick kiss on Eddies cheek. “Let’s get outta here, Eds. I want to be alone with you.” Richie said softly, pulling the map out of his glove compartment. “Just head to the edge of town and keep going straight. The cabin is about ten miles out of town.” 

And with that, they were off. They spent most of the trip laughing and talking with one another. It was the best time of their lives, time spent free and safe. 

That was until Eddie had taken his eyes off the road for a split second. A split second was all it took for them to drive head on into another car, causing them to flip several times before finally coming to a stop. Their luggage was strewn all about the road, surrounded by broken glass and drops of blood. The smell of gas and smoke filled the air, and soon that smell alone was enough to bring Eddie back to consciousness. 

His vision was hazy, he was confused. Where was he? He was just driving, right? Why did his head hurt so bad? He couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening as he looked around the truck, panic starting to fill his chest as he realized what happened. Fear clouded his mind when he saw the state Richie was in. 

The raven haired boy was paler than usual, the crimson staining his skin made him look as white as paper. Eddie choked back a sob when he saw a shard of the windshield in his boyfriends chest. “R-Richie... Honey?” He whispered, desperately trying to get his seat belt off. He needed to help Richie. He needed to save Richie. He couldn’t lose Richie. 

“Richie... open your eyes... please!” Eddie begged, his panic filled voice raising. He saw the rise and fall of Richies chest, he knew that Richie was still alive, but he wasn’t sure how much longer that would last if he didn’t get Richie help. “Richard Tozier! Wake the fuck up! You can’t leave me!” Eddie sounded desperate at this point, he was pleading for at least one more chance to see the love of his life’s eyes. 

Sobs filled the truck as Eddie begged and pleaded to anyone and everyone for Richie to wake up and for all of this to just be some sick cosmic joke. A noise caught his attention, it was a weak groan coming from the pale pink lips of the taller male. “E-Eds....?” He mumbled softly, wheezing with each breath. “A...Are you okay?” He had managed to gasp it out, the pain evident in his voice. 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. Of course Richie, who was worse off, would be more concerned with the hypochondriacs health. It was absurd how Richie could care so little for himself and yet care so much for those around him. 

Richie knew he didn’t have much time left, every single breath caused another wave of agony to course through him. He just couldn’t let go. Not without telling Eddie how much he loved him. In a perfect world, he would have all the time he needed. But this wasn’t a perfect world, far from it actually. Funny how just one split second can rip away a future he worked so hard to build. 

But, if it had to end, then Richie was glad he was at least granted the mercy to spend his last little bit of time on this earth with the man he loved. “Eddie.... there’s a ring... my pocket.....” He let out a trembling breath, trying to hold back his tears. “I.... I wanted to do this under.... b-better circumstances, but.... will you marry me Eddie? I can’t d- I can’t leave without knowing....” It was like his heart had been ripped from his chest, he couldn’t tell what was worse, the physical pain, or the pain of knowing this was going to be the last chance he had to be happy with Edward Kaspbrak. 

Eddie couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He let them flow freely as he nodded, still trying desperately to reach Richie. “Of course I’ll marry you, asshole... and it’s going to be an amazing wedding. You’re going to make it, we’re going to get married and adopt a Pomeranian or two. We’ll grow old together, live long enough to share our love with the world.” He was sobbing freely now, knowing that Richie realistically wouldn’t make it. 

He knew. But he couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t lose him now, not when their future was just within their grasp. “I love you and you’re going to make it, Richie! I’m not ready for you to let go....” His pleads were falling on dead ears. The life was fading from Richie’s eyes, and fast. 

In his final moments, Richie Tozier smiled. He would never forget the way Eddie’s lips felt against his, or the way his heart started pounding the second they made contact. He could never forget how Eddie pulled him closer, clinging to the front of his shirt for dear life. And try as he might, he would never be able to forget the way Eddie pulled him in for another kiss right after. Those feelings would forever be burned into Richie’s memory, and he didn’t want it any other way. “I love you, Eds...” 

And he slipped away. No longer could he hear Eddie screaming his name, sobbing as he pleaded for him to hang on. No longer could he feel the pain in his body. All he felt now was numb as he drifted into the eternal sleep. 

Eddie screamed his throat raw, sobbed until all that was left was short, quick gasps. This couldn’t be the end, not now. He wasn’t ready to let go. “Please don’t leave me, ‘Chee.... All I have is you....” He knew, deep down he knew, it was too late. He had watched Richie’s once lively spirit slip away. And in that moment, all he wanted was to slip away into nothing with him. 

But he heard the sirens approaching, he cursed God for taking Richie away from him just before help could come. He cursed God for not letting him join Richie in death. He cursed himself for not being able to save Richie, when just hours ago they were on their way to the perfect weekend. Just hours ago the love of his life was alive and laughing right next to him. 

All Eddie could feel now was numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry guys, but I never said there would be a happy ending. I might do one more chapter, just as an epilogue.


End file.
